Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
