i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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