one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
