covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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