Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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