That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Found the puke drawer
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
