Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
