Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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