there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
