$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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