? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
