All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
