She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
