Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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