I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
