I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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