You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
