I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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