I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
