seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
