I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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