Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
