I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
