i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We just shotgunned beers for America
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
