I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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