You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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