I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
