Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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