if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
