question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
