First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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