I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
