Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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