I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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