Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
