I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
