Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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