Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
