That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
