I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
