im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
