using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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