so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
