i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
