i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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