bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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