Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
