His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
