U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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