if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
